Date Night Disaster..

My husband & I have not felt connected for a while now. Kayla takes up so much of my time & energy these days so by the time he gets home I truly do not have the strength to try be lovey dovey or overly interested in sex (yes this blog post may contain TMI so I apologise now).

So I decided last wek after being annoyed by his attitude when he gets home that we should go on a date night. I took Kayla to my mom, went home & got all dressed up. I was so excited about the upcoming evening.
We went to buy movie tickets (I chose) and then went for dinner. While at dinner I asked hom what was wrong as I would like to clear the air & try work on what ever it is I have done that has made him to anti-me. We hardly spoke through dinner, I shed some tears & he told me he is sick of the same fights year after year so he did not want to talk about it (fat load of good that does hey?).
We finished dinner in silence, bought cold drinks & pop corn in silence & watched My Sisters Keeper in silence. We fetched Kayla in silence & went home in silence.

Kayla fussed for hours after we got home. We snapped at eachother saying ugly things for a while & eventually at 1am I went to sort Kayla out & when I got to bed I switched on the light & told him to pack a bag on Sat morning & go stay with my cousin's husband / his parents & decide if he would like to work at it or just not talk about it and be miserable for ever - of course he took it the wrong way that I was telling him to move out & that he was the one with the problem when it was me.

Anyway we spoke & I cried till 2am where we decided to make a go at it.

My issues are:
- I do everything around the house & therefore feel like a domestic worker
- He will fins any excuse to go out on weekends & does not spend the little time he has with his baby girl
- Maybe if he helped more round the house I would show him more TLC

His issues are:
- I show him no affection
- I never want to have sex (I am not an overly sexual person, never have, never will be)
- If I am more affectionate / passionate he may help more round the house

Do you see the problem here?
I am happy to be affectionate but when ever i am it is seen as a sign that we must have sex so I get put off, if I kiss him he thinks we should have sex, if I hug him he thinks we should have sex..

MEN AND SEX!!!

Anyway we both agreed to work harder on what the other one expects & we'll see how that goes.

But since he had already made plans for this weekend, he went to watch rugby with the boys so Kayla & I went to me mom's. Tomorrow he is going at 4am fishing with some guys from work, so Kayla & I will be alone AGAIN! He promised not to do it again.

Oh well tonight we made our fav meal together, bathed Kayla together & are going to watch some DVD's. Oh & since I will have to do the 4am feed tomorrow morning he agreed to do it on Monday morning..

I know all this is very private and personal & should probably not be shared with 'strangers' but it is something I needed to re-live.
I truly love my husband & last night I has visions of trying to explain to Kayla why her mom & dad could not make it work when she was only 2 months old & how I would be able to afford to live alone as a single mom & how I would cope if he fought for full custody...

But so happy I did not have to go through any of that & am thankful that we can put our crap aside & try sort it out! Especially for Kayla's sake.